· Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
· Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
· And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
· It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
· Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
· Also, always avoid astonishing and annoying alliteration.
· Be more or less specific most of the time.
· Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
· Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
· No sentence fragments.
· Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
· Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
· Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
· One should never generalize.
· Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
· Don’t use no double negatives. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
· One-word sentences? Eliminate.
· An analogy in writing is like putting silk stockings on a banty rooster.
· The passive voice is to be avoided.
· Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
· Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
· Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
· Kill all exclamation points!!!
· Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
· Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
· Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
· Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
· If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a million times ? Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a trillion can use it correctly.
· Ride a snappin’ turtle to the nearest fence post to avoid colloquialisms.
· Even if a mixed metaphor sings soprano, it should be derailed.
· Who needs rhetorical questions?
· Exaggeration is a quadrillion times worse than understatement.
· Avoid “buzzwords”; sharing integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters, and rarely heal divisions. Create a new paradigm instead.
· And finally . . . Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.